i know you need another blog like a hole in the head, but this one is AMAZING. it's from a woman who used to be in our neighborhood. They reno'd a huge house in our neighborhood over a number of years, and moved last year to lunenburg with her husband & 3 kids - to tackle a beautiful victorian reno.

She is IT in terms of mothering/womaning/humaning: smart, funny, amazing photographer, she's a knitter, sewer, baker, writer, and some kind of designer. abundant with appreciation for nature. she's the mom I'd love to be. ardent reader. so talented. so creative. it's a treat, MUST to check out.... (now if I could just get her to come and clean my own house, cook for me & undertake creative projects with MY kids so I could pursue reading her blog without neglecting my own offspring)

RED BELLE

get me the tissue

oh my god. teary again. i think i cry too easily. i KNOW i cry too easily. the bloody OLYMPIC commercials make me cry! but this time the tears are worth it: ian brown won the charles taylor prize. He won!!!! WALKER WON!!!!!!!!! so i'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face like a lunatic. this means people will read it. people will THINK. people will contemplate the different meaning/value of lives that at first appear to have little value. and what that means for all of us. I am so happy. mailing you your copy via amazon tonight. it is such a beautiful, sad, frustrating, hilarious, moving book. yea.

heavy heart

at Stace's urging, this private facebook message has been cut & pasted. (warning to anyone who knows stace - don't even TRY to say no to her, she's VERY persistent & persuasive)...

Ah Stace,

this is EXACTLY why I can't do the blog. Bursting to share my feelings on this and can't take the time to select my words carefully or edit - it will NEVER get posted! (OK, I eat my words here)

Just read on my twitter feed re: belleville woman being found. Not good. 10 years ago I would have felt sad for the family, scared for the woman, but then moved on.

Now I find it harder to move on. It fills me with terror - not for myself - if I was ever faced with a situation like that I think every once of fury I'd ever felt would be concentrated and unleashed & woe betide the bastard who attempted to hurt me.

I identify with the parents here - the anguish and sadness and helplessness they must be experiencing. It would be a horrid enough nightmare to ever lose a child through illness or accident, but the thought of them being hurt in any way prior to death just wrecks me.

would it be wrong of me to insist that the girls can't go anywhere without a huge snarling pet pit bull by their side? For the rest of their lives?

There's a calssmate of eve's (sophie) who's mom (julie) is ukranian. we were discussing the tragedy at pearson where the baby was dropped to it's death (another make me sick to my stomach moment) and Julie said there's some saying in ukranian (that I can't remember of course) that means, basically, "Your pain is our pain, we share your anguish" and that by sending love to the people in pain, we somehow help them carry the burden, or cushion the blow. I can't really imagine that it would help, but nevertheless, I concentrate on sending warmth and peace - to James Delorey's family, to the hundreds of thousands effected in haiti, and now to jessica lloyd's family. it could be a full time job.

sigh..... i hug my children tighter & inhale the scent of them & say a prayer.

Just Breathe

Stacey's Greatest Discovery

Once upon a time there was a gorgeous, witty, smart-as-a-whip gal named Stacey (I have taken some artistic liberties here, since it is my blog). She had a cousin who she had only ever known as the independent and sassy tom-girl from their brief encounters at family reunions every couple of years. They may have even shared a conversation or two when they found themselves attending the same university. The odd bit of news would trickle down from the grandparents- her cousin was living in Ireland. She's married now to an architect. One kid, then two, then three.

Then came facebook. If over time facebook becomes a distant memory in the minds of a techy society who has moved on to bigger and better social networks, Stacey will never forget what facebook gave her. She has made many world shattering discoveries in the last few years; Jian Ghomeshi, CBC Radio, Adriana Trigiani, Alberta steak, the Canadian Rockies, extra hot-no water-no foam-Tazo Chai-lattes, and blogging. But the best discovery ever -- was Jennie. The ultimate Sassy Woman.

Was it the blog that attracted Jennie to reach out and cross the awkward-small talk-boundary with Stacey? Whatever it was, she is grateful. Because not only has she strengthened a link in the family chain, but she has found a best friend that she never expected to find at this stage in her life. Now if only they could put their brilliant minds together and put their friendship to good use.. figure out how to afford bringing Stacey's family back to Ontario so that they can be real-life besties.

So behind

My name is Jennie, I am a delinquent gift giver. But I'm back on track now & by my calculations I still owe you (12-3=9) nine more gifts....

Here's #9. Fabulous agenda to keep life straight. Hell, let's throw in some fabulous pens just for good measure. Oooo how I LOVE fabulous pens. Especially fountain pens.

Where are you.... ?

Feeling very abandoned.... where are you? Trying to sneak out on the blog just because you know I have conversations with myself all the time? Come back to me.

:(

DAY ONE

On the first day of christmas my cousin brought to me....

one week each season at the One and Only resort of your choice. AH, what the hell, I love you and I'm incredibly generous, so you can have a week each season at ANY resort of your choice! Some food for thought......

In an effort to honor the beauty in our own country, take a peek at this little beauty in BC (scroll down to the home on the bottom of the page) Ridge Homes. Yes Sara, I have no doubt that there are stunning places in Sask. and I know Stacey would completely relish the beauty of the prairies, but I didn't know where to begin looking. Please feel free to contribute to my fantasy.

We'd have to go together on this one most definitely:The Plaza.

Ah... a week of sleeping in, late night talks, sumptuous dinners (paelo of course, my CF friends!), walks in central park
the MET, MOMA, Natural History Museum, guggenheim.... what a week we would have!

Flavor of the day: resorts. Not travel, as much as I would love to, the thought of packing up my three kids & getting them on a plane to trek through jungles in costa rica, villages in italy, or beaching in Kerala is exhausting. I suspect it wouldn't be an easy for you either.

So today's offering is a relaxed week, 4 times in the coming year at a fabulous resort of your choosing. Pamper city (and I don't mean facials & manicures, I mean having someone else make your bed, cook your meals & clean up afterwards - bliss!).

xo

Virtual Christmas

So here at Christmas central, we're trying to scale back this year and save some money. The kids get inundated with mountains of toys from relatives (despite our pleas to keep it simple) so we don't go over the top with them. And I don't exchange gifts with friends, since most families we're close to are in the same position: with young families, or first time home buyers, or both. I think it's our demographic. And part of attempting to live more simply without the fret of intentionally wracking up mountains of debt. Of course, this never keeps me from WISHING of things I'd like to purchase for the people I love.

So here it is, I present to you: virtual Christmas. A list of the things/expereinces I'd LIKE to give you to celebrate the season if I was endowed with Oprah's bank account....

First off, flowers. A big fat bouquet (or a few small posies - have you ever had a fresh flowers on your nighttable or in the bathroom - wonderful). Fragrant ones, colorful ones, monochromatic ones - a new one delivered every fortnight. OK, see above photo, I still am not as adept as you at putting things in the right place.

Item number two. A little 'ole somethin' somethin' in the Blue Box. Just because it's fun. And the way that white satin ribbon slips off the box is like an announcement that something special is about to happen. In fact, I'll get us both one. Matching somethins somethins how 'bout?!

OK, apparently Tiffany's doesn't want me to download images of their precious (or I just don't know how), so here's a wee gift from me to you (and me to me) from my favorite Toronto jeweler, Anne Sportun....

Oh no... it's up top. you get the point.

point #1 - i suck at this technology business. lesson anyone? and

#2 i am too tired to attempt to figure it out right now with wee ones beckoning (who am I kidding, they're not beckoning, they're HOLLERING for me) and it's an hour past bedtime. Maybe this is going to be more along the lines of the 12 days of Christmas.... stay tuned, watch this space, more goodies to come.

xo

Love. Emma.

Jennie,

I don't have the mental energy to put my thoughts to words as beautifully as you have been doing on this blog. My thoughts are more along the stinky lines of verbal vomit. For that, I apologize. I do appreciate that I need to participate in this endeavor of ours, to inspire each other and to talk of all that inspires or touches us. For me, these are the things I care about that my husband rolls his eyes at. So no matter how dumb I feel, I will press on and post anyways. Hopefully you can pull some little gifts out of the junk I spout every now and then.

Today I was playing around on imdb.com and youtube and came across a couple of scenes from one of my absolute favourite movies. Sense and Sensibility appealed to me like few have. I am a HUGE Jane Austen fan, but it isn't even the story as much as Emma Thompson's portrayal of Elinor Dashwood. Her acting is truly exquisite. I have probably seen this version at least 15 times and each time I approach the following scenes, my stomach clenches and my breathing quickens in anticipation of the emotion I'm about to feel with Emma.

In this scene, I am so moved and can so relate to Elinor's outburst. Elinor has known for weeks that Edward is to be married to Lucy Steele. Lucy told Elinor in the strictest of confidence. Elinor loves Edward and has been tolerating Lucy's feelings and ramblings of him. She finally breaks down about it to Marianne.



Elinor's pent up emotions which are the result of putting others before herself and the shock of hearing a true glimpse of her feelings spoken aloud- I just think this scene is soooo well done. There is a brief moment where Marianne tears up because she feels guilty and EVEN THEN Elinor pushes her own feelings aside to help (read: coddle) her sister through it. The single act of leaning on the cupboard for support, to push herself to her feet, almost as if she needs the strength to close the door on her own feelings to support her sister yet again.... the weariness in that action alone is my absolute favourite moment in the whole scene. Emma is brilliant.

And then the finale...



Ahhh.

Love.

Stand Up

I totally stole this from another blog I just read, but can't help it. I think I just watched this 10 times in a row. There is nothing like a song that can bring you to your feet..

Magnificent Maya

From Maya Angelou's Letter to my Daughter....

I have made many mistakes and no doubt will make more before I die. When I have seen pain, when I have found that my ineptness has caused displeasure, I have learned to accept my responsibility and to forgie myself first, then to apologize to anyone injured by my misreckoning. Since I cannot un-live history, and repentance is all I can offer God, I have hopes that my sincere apologies were accepted.

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.

Never whine. Whining lets a brute know that a victim is in the neighborhood.

Be certain that you do not die without having done something wonderful for humanity.

But for the grace of God...

Ah Stace,

Happy. Happy. Happy. inspiring. interesting. beautiful. I know that's what I (we?) had intended for this blog. But I was just searching for one of my favorite old songs & I came across the video, which i had never seen before. You have to watch it FIRST for the rest to make any sense.

so go ahead, pause & watch it.....

Done?

it literally took my breath away and i felt a headache blossom. it is so intense. so ripe. so sad. love the french word for anguish - angoisse - seems to have so much more depth to convey the full force of the emotion. I think this video is important. NB so we can't pretend this is not going on in some parts of the world RIGHT NOW. this is the daily existence for some people. not people who created it or asked for it. but people who need to endure it day in day out with no end in sight, for themselves or their children. or perhaps even for their grandchildren's children. you know i'm not a religious person, sometimes i wonder what that would be like. but i do believe in prayer. in love. and in hope. i'll stop here. i'm not sure if this is the place for that conversation. every day i am grateful to live in canada. i take the lyrics to our anthem very seriously and try to never take this enormous stroke of good fortune for granted.

Canada Reads

Jennie,

I'm not going to blah, blah, blah about why I've neglected you and our lovely little blog for the past few weeks. Instead, I'm just going to offer you my HUGE apologies and ask you not to give up on me. I'll make it up to you.

So today I heard our lover, Jian announce that the Canada Reads nominees are to be announced shortly. I can't remember if I heard next week or December 1st. Actually IS next week December 1st? Can that be possible? -Wow. Just checked the date. I feel like I've been in a month-long coma and have lost all track of time. So in honour of our mutual love of all things Jian and of the book, should we do a co-read of all the nominees? HUGE challenge, but I'm ready to take it on. Besides, you know you'll win.

Pretty please?

1,001 questions

Hey Stace,

Missed you while you were MIA. Hope you had a wonderful time, I expect to hear about it. Any pics to post? Maybe I should win the lotto so I can send Sara of "Sarafied" to take some stunning photos of the maritimes & live vicariously through her images. Then again, if I win the lotto, I will be able to afford the time to go - and go in style. Rent a palatial getaway with ocean views for a month & have an open door policy for friends to come and stay.

Had this weird mental block that it felt like there was no point writing to you if you were internetless and unable to communicate. But you're back.... soonish... non? So, since I've encountered my first bloggers block, I'm retreating to one of my favorite activities: "survey says". But it's not a true survey, as in a poll. There's a single respondent - you - (unless any of our readers care to answer the Qs too, which would be delightful). My own personal DJ and Crossfit mentor has been playing this game via facebook with me & I wanted to get your answers too. I will try my best to keep a record to see when we get to 1,001 questions. But to begin (and this counts as ONE question):

10 things you can't live without (or your 10 favorite things)

I'll go first....

1. Crossfit, of course CrossFit. It has changed my life in so many ways. I suppose I should do an explanatory post on crossfit someday. Or steal someone else's... Here, read what the formidible ms t dot sio has to say about CROSSFIT

2. Hats. OK, hats AND scarves. Love 'em. Love 'em. Love 'em. Every season. They always fit.

3. my library card. i practically eat books & would need a mansion to house them all if I bought books. Toronto's fabulous library system allows you to browse/order stuff online & it is delivered to my local branch. Often times I've been the first to check out the book - the spine isn't even cracked. Something so exciting about a fresh new book. Not sure if that should be that I love books or my library card? Both.

4. my perfume. I truly am a scent slut. Would love to have a "signature scent" but can't be monogamous to a single fragrance - depends on my mood. Chanel Allure Sensuel, Helmut Lang, Philosophy soulmates, Perscriptives Calyx. Oh, and men's cologne. Mmmm... nothing gets my attention like a fine smellin' fella.

5. My iPod. For music & podcasts. Since I can't actually listen to an interesting program (usually CBC, BBC, or NPR)with the barbarians underfoot (or on top of me as the case may be) I download & podcast them. Esp. Jian Ghomeshi's (sp?) Q. Like having a brilliant conversation with authors, musicians, writers, & artists daily.

6. Brunch. In or out, no matter, but LOVE brunch.

7. My agenda. Every year I buy a beautiful leather agenda & my life is in it: clients, dates, birthdays, numbers, to dos, quotes, books to read, films to see, wish list. love the agenda.

8. Nice pens. Could never have enough pens (and notebooks, love Moleskine). After my MSW Petey bought me a lovely waterman fountain pen & I adore it. Makes me feels as though anything I write with it is a bit more elegant.

9. Lipgloss. Lipgloss. Lipgloss. Perhaps as important (or more?) than mascara.

ten already... whoa. Hmm... better make it a gooder.

10. ah, the most important of all: good conversations. I think that's why I love Q. I could sit for HOURS and HOURS, gabbing & gabbing. But it needs to be interesting stuff. Not necessarily intelligent high politics or literary criticism, but stuff that i find interesting (automatically disqualified: bitching about husbands & non-stop talk about kids. ugh).

Lost in a Painting

Jennie Dearest,

There is a lovely little art gallery in Banff that Jacob and I discovered on one of our trips where we had enough time to do a little window shopping. A treat that isn't possible if we have the twins with us. Jake was only five or six and a painting in a window caught his eye. We ended up spending at least 20 minutes, staring at the piece entitled 'Faery Tales' by James Christensen. My understanding is that there are 24 different stories hidden within this painting and Jake managed to identify at least 19 of them.

Two trips back to Banff and we were drawn back to the gallery to stare at it again. Jonathan and I have gone to Banff for our every wedding anniversary since we've lived in Calgary and on our first such trip, Jonathan bought the piece as a family anniversary gift. VERY uncharacteristic of him, because it was most definitely an unnecessary expense. But it has brought us great pleasure and I never thought  I could say that about a piece of art. It now proudly sits in our library room, above our comfiest sitting chair. You'll often find one of the kids standing in the chair, staring up at the vibrant colours and intently studying all the different recognizable characters from childhood favourites.

Christensen has a unique style that I have fallen in love with. I don't know why. I just love the hidden meaning and references. I love his appreciation for traditional family values and his respect for women. I love his quirky sense of humour and his depiction of fairies, angels, trolls, Shakespearean characters, religious figures, etc.

Isn't this one dreamy?

A Place of Her Own

Responsible Woman

The Unopened Letter

This one reminds me of a story I recently watched on a morning news show. Five year old Elena Desserich, dying of cancer, left secret notes for her family to find after her death. Her parents compiled them in a journal of sorts, Notes Left Behind to leave as a legacy to her younger sister, to remember her by. In an interview with her mom, I heard her say that they had found two particular notes that were sealed in envelopes. She and her husband had decided that they would never open the envelopes, because (I'm paraphrasing) "they wanted the insurance that they would always still have a letter from Elena. It would never end." Incredibly sad and incredibly touching.

Back to Christensen, here is my gift to you.

The Listener

I will leave you to interpret this last one on your own. But please tell me that you understand why it so reminded me of you.

xo

The Better Way

Stace,

OK, bear with me on this one. I know our blog is supposed to be about beauty and inspiration and culture and yadda yadda yadda. So I'm going to put forth the argument that this covers all three: the TTC. Yes, the Toronto Transit Commission. The buses, streetcars & subways that torontonians use to get around. I love it. Yes, you read that right, I love it. I feel as though I'm in the minority as usually people only whine and complain about our transit system. Is it comprehensive? No. Is it always on schedule? No. Granted, if I had to take it to work everyday, or if I was in a hurry, or was stuck on it in rush hour (especially in the summer, head firmly wedged beneath someone's less-than-fresh underarm) I may not be so enthralled. But because I'm an occassional user I can wax rhapsodic about it. I think it helps that my kids reignite the wonder & excitment of it.

I think my favorite is the streetcar. There's your fellow passengers, but also the carnival of everyday life that I pass by. It is a FEAST of humans: people of every size, shape, color, style, ethnicity is there. If not on the streetcar itself, then on the street. Because I'm not having to pay attention to other drivers around me I'm free to read, listen to a podcast, stare into space, or enjoy the scenery unfolding before me, eavesdrop - you name it. Maybe next time you're in TO we should hop on the streetcar to get to our resto of choice. A TTC date, all the gab with none of the hassel of driving (don't get me wrong - I LOVE driving - especially shift) but sometimes the slow way really is the better way. Wha'da'ya say - red rocket with me?

~ j. xo

Beautiful Spaces

OK Stace,

I've got to get off the music posts or this will change into a "music I adore" blog. So, for a change of pace, the beauty of choice today is... ta da... spaces. Not surprising given that being married to an architect, "spaces" take up a more than usual amount of discussion. You've seen our house. It's 100 years old & it took over seven full size dumpsters and a concrete truck IN OUR YARD to get it where it is now. And there's still a long way to go until "The Vision" is fully realized. Unlike you, I don't have a master bedroom. Hell, I don't even have a bedroom door! One day, it will be my dream house. I'm willing to wait. In the meatime, I absorb every shred of our neighborhood that I love and we look at these places for inspiration. So, without further ado, here's some beauties to feed the imagination...






Hard to include more. Apparently architects copyright many of their photos. Go figure. So these are my dream spaces. Clean lines (clean period). Austere. Simple. Nice details. Lots of windows. Preferably nestled in the woods. Sigh..... Ever creating one of these spaces, despite my desire & Peter's skills, it's highly unlikely. So for now I enjoy looking at these residences as beautiful art that fuels my rich fantasy life. Am interested to know what your ideal home would be like. Jennie xo

Nellie and Blasphemy

J,

Today I received an email from our cousin, Meaghan. She forwarded me this link and asked if I knew it was out. Did you know??

I hope she wouldn't mind me sharing this, but she says, "I am sure Grandma is turning over in her grave but I think I will still have to read this! One reviewer said Gilbert comes off as a bastard and possibly an adulterer.  Blasphemy!! I know having Nellie as a grandmother means you have to be Anne Shirley obsessed as well."

And yes- I am!  I don't know how I never heard about this release. This is from the publisher:

From the Publisher

Adultery, illegitimacy, misogyny, revenge, murder, despair, bitterness, hatred, and death-usually not the first terms associated with L.M. Montgomery. But in The Blythes Are Quoted, completed shortly before her death and never before published in its entirety, Montgomery brought these topics to the forefront in what she intended to be the ninth volume in her bestselling series featuring her beloved heroine Anne. Divided into two sections, one set before and one after the Great War of 1914-1918 …+ read moreAdultery, illegitimacy, misogyny, revenge, murder, despair, bitterness, hatred, and death-usually not the first terms associated with L.M. Montgomery. But in The Blythes Are Quoted, completed shortly before her death and never before published in its entirety, Montgomery brought these topics to the forefront in what she intended to be the ninth volume in her bestselling series featuring her beloved heroine Anne. Divided into two sections, one set before and one after the Great War of 1914-1918, The Blythes Are Quoted contains fifteen episodes that include an adult Anne and her family. Binding these short stories, Montgomery inserted sketches featuring Anne and Gilbert Blythe discussing poems by Anne and their middle son, Walter, who dies as a soldier in the war. By blending poetry, prose, and dialogue, Montgomery was experimenting with storytelling methods in ways she had never before attempted. The Blythes Are Quoted marks the final word of a writer whose work continues to fascinate readers all over the world.

I am almost giddy, I am so excited to read this. Another co-read? (this is a must-purchase and please don't tell me you are not a fan or we can't be friends. or related).

Last Music One (for now)

Stace,

I am SO happy you included "Falling Slowly" on our playlist. Here at home, nearly 9:00pm. Long day at work, but house is now silent as I embark on my hours of reports. So to hear Glen Hansard & Markets Irglova - heaven, pure heaven.

OK, last music post (for a while) I promise. Still preoccupied with opera, I wanted to share a conversation I had with Ella when she was 4. We were winding our way up the DVP in the beloved long gone Subaru ( so cozy & compact & intimate nestled in that space together). I was listening to Puccini's Madame Butterfly & the following conversation ensued:

Ella: Mummy, why does she sound so sad?

Me: Well honey, she's upset because she loves someone & he doesn't love her back.

Ella: Why doesn't he love her back?

Me: (not wanting to launch into the whole complex storyline of Madame Butterfly to a 4 year old). I don't know honey, why do you think he doesn't love her?

....long pause while she looks out the window deep in thought....

Ella: Maybe he doesn't like her singing.

Now, two years on I'm happy to report she's an opera lover, but it took a while.