heavy heart

at Stace's urging, this private facebook message has been cut & pasted. (warning to anyone who knows stace - don't even TRY to say no to her, she's VERY persistent & persuasive)...

Ah Stace,

this is EXACTLY why I can't do the blog. Bursting to share my feelings on this and can't take the time to select my words carefully or edit - it will NEVER get posted! (OK, I eat my words here)

Just read on my twitter feed re: belleville woman being found. Not good. 10 years ago I would have felt sad for the family, scared for the woman, but then moved on.

Now I find it harder to move on. It fills me with terror - not for myself - if I was ever faced with a situation like that I think every once of fury I'd ever felt would be concentrated and unleashed & woe betide the bastard who attempted to hurt me.

I identify with the parents here - the anguish and sadness and helplessness they must be experiencing. It would be a horrid enough nightmare to ever lose a child through illness or accident, but the thought of them being hurt in any way prior to death just wrecks me.

would it be wrong of me to insist that the girls can't go anywhere without a huge snarling pet pit bull by their side? For the rest of their lives?

There's a calssmate of eve's (sophie) who's mom (julie) is ukranian. we were discussing the tragedy at pearson where the baby was dropped to it's death (another make me sick to my stomach moment) and Julie said there's some saying in ukranian (that I can't remember of course) that means, basically, "Your pain is our pain, we share your anguish" and that by sending love to the people in pain, we somehow help them carry the burden, or cushion the blow. I can't really imagine that it would help, but nevertheless, I concentrate on sending warmth and peace - to James Delorey's family, to the hundreds of thousands effected in haiti, and now to jessica lloyd's family. it could be a full time job.

sigh..... i hug my children tighter & inhale the scent of them & say a prayer.